Work

(Me with my Tan Man after a busy day of work)

So to be honest, the past month or so has been extremely difficult for me, mostly because of all the stresses with work. I directed a show in late January, and that was exhausting both physically and emotionally (being prego slows you down a bit!). It took me about 5 days to physically recover from the show. The hardest part was going a whole week of just seeing Tanner 1 or 2 hours during the day, and 2 days in a row without spending any quality time with him at all.

(Tanner waiting for Daddy to come home)

Directing shows is a big part of my job because the school wants me to do a separate performance for every grade level. I love doing the shows, but sometimes I wish that I could just focus more on actually teaching music instead of being a production manager. The shows are a pretty big deal and take a LOT of work - even for someone who is physically normal.

(Our home suffers from both of us working. I guess Tanner is getting sick of dirty laundry, too, because he has become very interested in picking clothes off the floor, shaking them out, and strategically putting them in a new place in the room).

Our plan has been that once baby #2 comes along, I will stay home full time for several years. Two main reasons influenced this decision. 1- I want to be with my children. 2- I won't make any money if I keep working. We figured out that with my current salary, after daycare costs, tithing, taxes, and gas fees for my commute it does not leave much left as a profit. It's just not worth it!

So that means that this is my last year teaching at this school and teaching in general for awhile. I thought I would be more sad about it, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I've been learning that God has His way of preparing you for what He wants you to do. And plus, the timing worked out so perfectly that I accomplished one of my goals- to teach full time at least one year longer than it took me to get my teaching degree. It took me 5 years to get my double major and I have been able to teach for 6 years straight since I got my degree. I did it!! Plus, this doesn't mean that I will never go back to teaching. If all goes well, I plan to get my Masters in Education, do more research in education, teach more and prepare for one of my biggest dreams- to open my own school.

 (Tanner attempting to play with his toy airplane after "doing" our laundry)

But I digress... back to being stressed. I have 5 more different shows to direct before my due date (May 15). One of the shows is actually the day before my due date. The administrators and I are trying to figure out how it will all work out.

 (These are Tanner's photo jobs!)

I've been learning a lot about myself and about life by going through this all- not just in the last month but basically ever since I've been a working mom. The good news is that when I turn to the Lord, things are always better. I got a blessing from our home teachers (Jeremy was out of town), and that helped a lot. Jeremy made a CD of audio scriptures for me to listen to during my commute and that has made a big difference, too. Also, when I'm feeling really down, I am singing more hymns or folk songs to myself  that I know will make me happy. And I've been trying to not focus on all the time I am missing with Tanner, just trying to make the most of the few hours of quality time I have with him each day.