Solutions for Santa

This post is a continuation of the previous one. Also for ADULTS ONLY. Parental discretion is advised.

Okay, so we think we figured out how to do Santa in our home so that our children know from Day 1 that Christmas is about Christ's birth, Santa is not real, we keep them from telling all their friends and cousins, and we still have fun as a family with imagination, traditions, etc.

First, we teach our kids about the Lord's birth all the time during the holiday (and throughout the year, too). We act out stuff, we read the scriptures, we draw pictures, we read kid stories. We also make it a point to talk about all the amazing miracles that happened to people during Christ's conception, birth and afterwards- both in the Bible and Book of Mormon. We make it magical because it IS magical! We get our children to imagine what they would do if they were Joseph or Mary or a shepherd or sheep. We get them to imagine what it would have been like to hear about his birth or see the new star and bright lights in the sky. Etc. etc. And most of all, we make sure they know that this REALLY happened and that Christ is REAL. I tried really hard to do this with Tanner the past two years. It was fun to find books and pictures of Jesus' birth, and to help Tanner recognize the baby Jesus. He would say "Jesus" and "sheep" when he saw the nativity scenes.

Second, we teach about who St. Nicholas was. In case you don't know, he was a saint in Europe that gave to the poor. I think he also had a sleigh. But I can check my facts again next year. The point is: we teach that he was a real person, but just a person like you or me. He understood the importance of Christian love and helping those around him. Then we teach that people loved St. Nicholas and the example that he set. So now, in his honor, we pretend that he still comes every Christmas to children's houses. Now we call him Santa Clause, and some people think it's fun to pretend that he lives at the North Pole with reindeer and that he flies. But we know that's not true. It's just a fun thing to make believe. Then we teach our kids that in our home, we know that St Nicholas would want us to focus on Christ and helping others. We will still read stories and sing songs about Santa, but we know that he is pretend, just like the Disney princesses or the characters on YoGabaGaba or the Grinch or the Nutcracker and Sugar Plum Fairy. Already this year and last, we have done this with Tanner. He doesn't understand any of it, but at least I'm getting some practice of actually saying it to him!

Third, we teach that some families like to really believe that Santa comes to their house. Some children think that he is real. But some day they'll learn that their parents were the ones that put the presents in their stockings. We're not supposed to tell the kids this because if we do, the parents will get really mad at you and get you in trouble. Their feelings will get hurt and we don't want to hurt their feelings. If my child asks me, "Why don't they tell their kids the truth about Santa?" To this I would WANT to say "Because they think it's fun to lie to their children." But I think I would ACTUALLY say "I'm not sure why. But I believe it's important that you know the truth."

As far as presents go, our kids will get one nice present from us on Christmas morning. If you think about it, this is nice for us because we'll be the ones to get the credit for giving them what they want for Christmas, not Santa.

For stockings, this year and last, we filled Tanner's stocking with candy and things that he really needed like socks and pacifiers. We told him they were from us. But in the future, I want to do 2 things related to stockings: 1) have me, Jeremy and the kids draw names and then be secretly  in charge of filling that person's stocking. The gift we put in the stocking has to be homemade and it has to be meaningful and maybe give a clue of who we are. Then Christmas morning, we all guess who filled our stocking!! I know any child would be really excited about this and so anxious to see what they will get and what their siblings will say when they see the present that they give. And this kind of tradition will never die because it's not based on a false person. 2) the wise men will come to our house on Jan 6 during the night to fill our shoes. This is a Mexican tradition, and I like how it reminds us that the wise men did not come on Christmas Eve or Day. They came many weeks, months, perhaps even years later. And yes, my children will know that the wise men are not actually the people filling their shoes.

Also, a big focus on presents will be about what the child is giving to others, not about what they want to get. I think it would be nice to have my kids spend one evening writing down what they want for Christmas, and then the rest of the holiday, we have no more discussion about it. Instead, we discuss "what do you think you will give your sister, your auntie, your grandma?" and things like "who in our neighborhood could we do something nice for? Is there a family at church that could use some extra help this time of year?" and "this year, should we help at a soup kitchen or volunteer at the library"? My parents and Jeremy's parents do stuff like this as part of their holiday traditions, and it's one of the few things we keep doing each year even though we all know Santa isn't real.

So I figure, let's make an even bigger deal about this! Basically, we will do our best to make the conversations and daily activities focused on what we can do for others, not about what we ourselves want. I think that as we do this over the years, traditions of service will naturally be created. We might decide that every year we spend an evening making jam or cookies for the bishop, or that every year we leave a box of goodies for the widows in our congregation, or multiple things like this. It will have to be organic though, based on activities that Jeremy, me and the kids come up with together and find that we really enjoy.

For other traditions, I would like to carol every year throughout the neighborhood and to friends' homes as a family. Both my parents and Jeremy's parents did this with us growing up, and I love it! And when our home is big enough, I want to try having a wassailing party, where friends get together and we just spend hours singing our favorite Christmas songs around the piano while drinking wassail or cider.

While living here in HB, it's become tradition to see the boat parade in the Newport Harbor every year. So something like watching lights each year would be important to me. Christmas lights are a symbol of Christ's light coming to the world, so that would be the focus of seeing the lights.

I also think it would be awesome to go to a candlelight mass at a catholic church. I've done it before. It's a beautiful environment and would teach my children about finding common ground with friends in other religions.

Oh, I would also like to take my children to the Nutcracker ballet every year if we can afford it. My mom took us girls every year until I left for college. There is so much magic in that ballet! By the way, the fact that kids know that the Nutcracker isn't real but they still love the story and they still love the music goes to show that kids can know Santa isn't real and still be excited about Christmas.

Will we visit Santa at the mall? I'm not sure yet. I definitely won't make it a big deal by any means. I guess if my kids request to see him, I'll ask them why and remind them that Santa is not real, but we can pretend he is when we see him- just like we pretend that I'm a real princess when we play dress-ups. Maybe I could get my kids to prepare a little song for him and to tell Santa some things they are doing for others for Christmas. Maybe we could write him a note and thank him for sitting long hours to talk to greedy children and cranky parents all day long. I think Santa would be really surprised and cheered up by that!

I recognize that a lot of these ideas sound corny, unrealistic and maybe even a little self-righteous. I will have to be really careful to not offend others when we involve them in our traditions and to truly make the focus on Christ a genuine one. Definitely, each year Jeremy and I will need to turn to the Lord with how to be sensitive to others who want to make Santa an important part of their traditions. I hope that in turn, others will be respectful to us with how we celebrate the holiday.